Holy Cow

It has been a day. Sugar has been all over the place but that is ok, cannot remember if I took the meds this evening thats ok.. Charlis and Dewey are here that helps a whole lot. We shopped all afternoon had lunch with Richard. Found some INCREDIBLE deals. And had a visit with Larry's son Jon Oh my gosh ! He came to get some pictures we had pictures of Katie some when she was little some when she was here. And they needed them for a memorial service. He came and got them we just made him a disc. Lots of tears everyone cried more than once. So it has been a wonderful day !

She called me Mom

She did not have to. She was Larry's daughter not mine. But she called me Mom did I live up to her expectations ? I dont know, I tried though. She hated me and she loved me. She hated that her Daddy left her to be with me. Cant say that I blame her for that. It was never my intention for her to feel that way. But she loved me as well. Her Dad told me years ago that he would share his kids with me, since I was never able to have my own. I could just share his. They all liked that idea. When they were little they would all come over to my apartment. They would go in fifty directions looking for the ferret. I remember she was about 3 and she had been in to the bathroom. She came out to find the ferret in her shoes. And was just horrified she looked at me and cried " those are my shoes ". Her lifes ambition was to be a Grandmother. She was a sweet sweet child, and thrilled us both when she came back into our lives 10 years after the divorce. She only stayed a little while. It broke our hearts to see her go. But she was a grown up. She kept reminding us of that. That she was not that little girl any more. Though we never got that image of her out of our heads. She was always that little girl. With those big impossibly blue eyes, and that crooked little grin. We wanted to just keep her, and keep her safe. That was not as simple as it had been when she was young. So we had to let her go. Larry told her she could come back that we would come and get her. No matter what no matter where we would move mountains for HER not for her and the boyfriend. Maybe thats where we were wrong ? Putting conditions on our coming to her rescue. She loved crasins and bubble gum we would send her boxes full of those and beads. She loved Jesus she loved her family especially her little sister. She has a child of her own now Elijah they call him Eli we have never met him. But he is safe with her sister Emily and her family. I love her awful I always did I always will. She called me Mom and my baby died this week a tragic accident a life cut short way to soon. Rest in Peace sweet Katie and know that we love you.

Tuesday July 19th 2011 7:58 a.m.

It has been a while since I have posted anything. Life has intruded into my cyber world... :) Happens to us all sometimes. Have been feeling guilty about not keeping up with things. But what can you do the yard needs mowed the house needs cleaned the laundry and the dishes have to be washed, and then there is Richard and Tommy to tend to. Painted the ceiling in Mothers bedroom it looks very nice.

 So in looking over the numbers for the last month. The blood sugar numbers I can see where I am making my mistakes and what is working. Pizza is not a good choice for me, a little bit once in a while might be ok but it makes me feel like crap. Been to Shreveport with Lynn a few times the last month and we always eat at the Golden Corral love that place. They always have brussel sprouts which believe it or not is what I eat the majority of. And I cannot pass up the ice cream... Well I think it is ice milk if that makes the doctor feel any better about the fat content.. I dont know... The sugar numbers are usually really good after a big lunch and ice cream... those bugle snacks ? Oh man. Blood sugar was 184 I had eaten a bunch of those though. Sugar was low when I got to Lynns and I had a couple of ginger snaps. If I had stopped there it would have been fine. But she gave us a bag of the chocolate and peanut butter bugles. So I ate some of those also. Of course it was only a few minutes after having eaten them that I tested but still... And I have to wonder if being sick does not raise your blood sugar ? Larry and I both got a case of food poisoning YIKES at the pizza place. another reason to leave the pizza alone. We were in the bathroom all afternoon it was miserable and then I took a nap sugar was still up before supper. Then it was a glass of almond milk I felt so crappy. So on we go Mother should be home sometime in the next week. I have to get the yard in shape. The back looks good have to work in the front. Did my last day of Bible study today well we will meet one more time. At a coffee house to discuss the whole study I would imagine. I missed a session last week. Charlis and Dewey were here and we had peas to put up. Anyway I have broken the silence it shold be easier to get on here and blog now.. talk again soon

Thursday June 30 2011

Lat work day of the week... the poison ivy is making me nuts.. Got a few things to do around here this morning and then I am off to Lynns house.. we had to go to Shreveport yesterday that is always a nice trip and it means lunch at the Golden Corral ... YUM brussel sprouts ! and I ate plenty of them and some chicken tenders and one of those sliders without the bun..Then .. Oh then I had dessert... coconut tart I did not eat the crust but the ice cream well what can I say it is a weakness and about once a week or so I have a little.. or not so little thank goodness the bowls are small..Blood sugar at 3 was 93 now explain that to me ??? Cause I ate everything and was doing no exercise and then had to some home and cook some supper I was going to have to eat ? Started out yesterday with sugar of 110 and had a peanut butter fold over on pita bread. We got out of the doctors office over there about 9 30 and we found us a Kroger... does not sound like a big deal but believe me it is and we got Larry some of these fresh tortillas he loves.. and some of the wasabi sensation snack mix I had a handful of that before we went to lunch, and my sugar was 123 before the meal. I thought that was a little high but I had just eaten the snack mix.. Larry and I ate Falafel last night and some pita bread with a tomato and cucumber salad. And some spinach salad sort of a clean out the fridge a little meal. Got busy and forgot to test last night. Blood sugar this morning was 117 and they are telling on the news this morning that folks who blog or keep track of thier eating habits online loose more weight and are more likely to stick to a plan. because this keeps them thinking about the program all the time. Of course I have Lynn who is always a source of support in all of this. And the new doctor is great ! So now I need to drop my brother a note and tidy up around here a little... have a bath in lye soap and clorox then off to Lynns to see what we can get into there. Tune in again soon

Tuesday June 28 2011

Yesterday I ate spaghetti ! not very many of the noodles but enough to feel like I had some. Blood sugar 2 hours later was 93 so that was great ! chicken and broccoli alfredo. and a spinach salad. Blood sugar this morning was 107 out of test strips.. YIKES off to the bible study Im enjoying that. Then over to work at Richards. He is doing some better sounds better anyway. Says his blood sugars are leveling off. Ran into Lynn and Joey when I went to Wal Mart for supplies and we all had lunch together, that was very nice we ate mexican food. I had a lunch special chile reino  Love those and a taco with beans and a guacamole salad. A lot of food ! then there were some chips and guacamole while we were waiting. Mmmm I was a pig. Tried to control myself with the chips and did not eat the taco shell. But the beans were awesome..! Blood sugar at 2 was 127 which was pretty good considering what all I ate. And we had a strange sort of greek meal this evening some of the flat bread with hummus and grilled chicken. and a cucumber and tomato salad with dill and yogurt. Blood sugar was 76 at 8:30 so I made a mango and pineapple smoothie.. Smaller one than the cappacino. that was a nightmare. And I poured Larry the larger glass of it. Ha ha maybe that will help.. I rode the bike for a mile and a half this evening. And I mowed and worked in tehyard all day yesterday so I dont fel bad about not walking or riding... even if the doctor says that work is not exercise.  Going to Shreveport with Lynn in the morning so I am going to wrap this up she will be here at 6 her appointment is at 8 so we should maybe get home fairly early. That would be good. I can catch up on some things here. Sigh it just never ends
tune in again soon

Monday June 27 2011

So here we are... quiet Larry is off to work the doggies are sleeping I am taking a break from the yard work. Got the back done cleaned out the dog pen weedeated mowed the whole nine yards and took the clippers to the junk on the fence. Need to fill up my squirt bottle and spray it down again.. Kill all the poison ivy anyway. Or try to. I am dirty and wet.But have a sense of acomplishment. I can see where something got done. Now I have to clean the ditch though. Thats where I threw all the debris ha ha ha Blood sugar was 107 this morning.. it was 159 last night. we had one of those frozen capacino drinks.. With almond milk. well I did not read the mix very well it has 8 carbs per 2 tablespoons. i used 1/2 cup in the blender... now Larry drank half of it but it was clearly not so good for me. though it was only an hour or so when i tested. Who knows... Now ice cream.... 2 hours later it was 90 go figure ? Had a peanut butter fold over this morning. Have not been able to find my pita breads so had to eat a piece of whole wheat bread that is ok and it works but lacks the fiber content of the pita. And it has twice the carbs. So Ill keep looking. Need to go to Wal Mart anyway My left thumb has tendonitis now that sucks but not like the right hand. Mother is still in West Virginia having a great time from the sounds of it. She loves Dan's house and the mountains . Larry fixed the AC last night it was indeed not working the plug keeps working off of the compressor.. So he zip strapped it on ha ha ha the AC man was in Hot Springs bless him he told Larry what to look for and I talked him through the taking apart process. Since I had been watching when Danny did it I know how to take it a part. I could have fixed it but I could have gotten electrocuted as well...Larry was quick to point that out to me. Just so I dont think I can do stuff you know ?  Had one of those frozen cheeseburgers for lunch and a fudge bar, came in starving and did not have a pita so I just had a quickie ha ha I just wanted the cheeseburger ate most of the bread too but it is something I dont do very often. Planning on cooking spaghetti for supper cannot eat much of that but a little bit should be ok. With grilled chicken, brocolli and alfredo sauce... MMMMM been thinking about it since Larry cooked that chicken yesterday. Funny thing if he cooks a large amount of say chicken or fish then we can have a different meal later in the week. Or for lunches, works for me. So back to the grind for me talk again soon..

June 26 2011

Strange week have been busy not on the computer much at all. Think my family must have disowned me again have not heard from any of them in weeks.. The air conditioner went out last week. Alex has chewed a hole in his tail. It has been hot hot hot down here. Some how I dont think the AC is working now, it has gotten way hot in here and no real relief. the air is blowing but its not cooling off. So Im grumpy... hot and grumpy.